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Thursday 26 July 2012

Scotty's plea...

Ok I just can't take it anymore.

Dating websites were hard enough when I wasn't getting any messages, but now I get half a conversation and it irritates the living daylights out of me.

I can't do the dating game. I can't wait for people to decide when they want to chat. It's like playing chess with someone on a different time zone to you.
Pawn to bishop...
twelve hours later...
knight takes pawn...
and so on...

It is agony!!!

You are lulled into a false sense of happiness.

You get over the initial hurdle of 'hi, how you doing today?'; feel a little bit exuberant that someone wants to engage with words and then nothing...for maybe a day or two. Then another two lines of boring bollocks.

In the immortal words of Scotty, "She cannae take it any more Captain!"

Seriously, what ever happened to the art of conversation?

I am clearly an impatient bugger. I want to talk, chat, shoot the breeze or some other conversational metaphor with someone. I don't want to see three lines that are littered with illiteracy, and an incompetence in the English language.

I want to chat!!! I am here, right now - someone tell me something that remotely resembles a description about yourself, and give me something to respond to.

A good friend suggested that I try yoga,in order to quell my anxiety and impatience. The trouble is yoga is too f**king slow!!!!! I need speed yoga. Yoga that requires the attention span of a fish. I can't hold a pose for more than a few seconds let alone holding the grasshopper position for a minute and a half.

Does this suggest something detrimental about my personality?
Certainly getting things done quickly is inherent in how I behave (...alas,I sincerely hope that my knight in shining armour is not as speedy as me when he finally does say more than hi.)

I am a frustrated Formula 1 driver; I can multi-task as good as the next woman and I would rather do the housework in five minutes than 15...

I am considering that this is maybe because of how the hobbits have changed me. I have to be prepared to answer three calls for drinks, requests for ketchup, cutlery and turn over a TV channel in a blink of an eye, so maybe this accounts for my insatiable impatience.

However this doesn't really resolve my original question and frustration.

Why bother to sign up to a chat website and not actually chat? Or just respond with a one liner?

And furthermore how do I resolve it? Do I play the same stupid games? Ignore messages for 48 hours before replying? Or do I simply just move on?

This was supposed to be fun. Not stressful...like yoga.

2 comments:

Rosie said...

Sweetie!
How about ignoring those who:
Can't spell and don't use spellcheck
Can't do punctuation ( I knew someone who included a semi-colon in their profile to see who could cope!)
Don't write in sentences
Give lists of their likes, dislikes etc
Focus on themselves

BECAUSE you will have nothing in common with them.

Harsh, yes; snobbish, no; practical, yes.

Rosie said...

PS and Good Luck! There are a lot of frogs out there, but some can be kissed! xxx